The Sandwich Rule

I like sandwiches! My favorite sandwiches are the fatty unhealthy ones! Bread plastered with mayonnaise, strips of fried greasy bacon; let's add some lettuce and tomatoes to make the sandwich somewhat healthier so I don't feel bad about clogging my arteries! Lol. My other favorite sandwich would have to be what I call, the "ultimate sandwich." Course it has to have the mayo. Along with the mayo, add stacks of turkey, ham, roast beef, and munster cheese. Mmm….I'm getting hungry just writing about it!

Sandwiches come in handy, especially when it comes to giving constructive criticism. I'll make my point clear in just a little bit.

Ever have someone tell you something crappy about yourself? Have you ever had a boss reprimand you for a mistake you've done? Ever had a significant other confront you about something you do that hurt them?

I don't know about you, but I can answer yes to all the questions stated above. Constructive criticism usually doesn't come well received by most, because of the delivery in which the criticism is given. Some will be straight forward and give you the bottom line. While others beat around the bush. Using just one of these methods may not work. How about using both?

This is where the sandwich rule comes to play: sandwich concerns with encouraging words.

First, state a positive statement about the person.

Then, state your concern. Be careful and don't start this sentence with "you," because people will automatically be on the defensive.

Followed by an encouraging statement. ßThis part is important, because it enables the other person. Also it tells them that you believe in him or her.

For example:

State a positive statement such as, "I have a blast hanging out with you."
State a concern, "However, when you're around your friends, I feel like you ignore me."
Followed by an encouraging statement such as, "I believe that next time we hang out with your friends, you'll be more attentive."

You'll get better results using the sandwich above as oppose to: "You ignore me when you're with your friends. I don't like it. You need to change."

The next time you're upset with someone, mentally picture a juicy ultimate sandwich. Remember to sandwich your concerns with encouraging words.