Moving forward…

What does it mean to move forward? After a break up, one may associate the phrase, "moving forward," to moving on…having the courage to play the dating game again. I thought it meant stepping out in faith to pursue love again. Isn't that what it means? I mean, I've read the trashy novels, watched the sappy romantic movies, where girlfriends say this mantra to friends who get out of relationships. But what does moving forward really mean?

In the past when I got out of a relationship and found the phrase coming out of the mouths of those close to me. I could have jumped on board the dating train and pursue other love interests, but I choose to forgo it. Tough choice, I admit, but in the end I learned so much along the way. I won't lie and say that it was the easiest thing, because it wasn't. I definitely missed the companionship. I missed selfishly loving another and sharing life with a best friend. I missed being with someone.

The temptation to find another is at an all time high when we get out of relationships. My problem was when someone was interested in me I would see the face of my ex, and I would remember the good times and feel sudden loneliness. After many years of being with someone to suddenly being alone. It's a strange thing. You think to yourself, "What do I do from here?"

To tepid loneliness, staying busy by consuming myself with work and surrounding myself with friends worked for a while. I must have annoyed my friends as I talked about how happy I was that I was free. They saw past the lies. They were proud of me for being strong and holding out for God's best, but they knew I was hurting and didn't want to admit it.

The pain won from time to time. But after some time, I began to win. I began to move forward. How? It's a day by day process. Every day that goes by means new challenges and new victories. I first accepted the pain. Tears are a sign of weakness for me, but in my quietest times, I allowed myself to really feel the pain and actually cry. I felt like a sissy, but it was so healing. Once I let out the emotions, I accepted the fact that it wasn't the other person's fault entirely. I too was responsible for the relationship ending. Knowing this, I wanted to learn from the past, take my lessons, and grow from them.

Inner growth began to transpire. I saw things within myself I didn't see when I was in the relationship. I saw the kind of person I am, and I saw my true worth. Sometimes you forget how great of a catch you are until you're out of a relationship. Time went by and I went on life's adventures, experiencing new and exciting things. I took a liking to water sports, knee boarding, water tubing, ect. It's been a while since the last time I shot a basketball, so I picked up a basketball again and worked on improving my jump shot. I enjoyed the outdoors, danced when no one was looking, and I found joy in doing the simple things in life.

I…was moving forward! You see, moving forward doesn't have to mean dating again. It means living life and growing. It means choosing to be happy through your circumstances. It means finding wholeness and joy in simply being you…moving forward.